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می تونه واقعی باشه!

-مرداد ۶۲

داغی گلوله تنشو داغ کرد!…مردباسیبیلای پر پشت و صورت آفتاب سوخته اسلحه به دست بالای سرش وایستاده بودوستاره های روی شونه هاش زیر نور آفتاب برق می زد.دوباره شلیک کرد…چشماش دیگه چیزی ندید.عکس مرضیه که رامین رو بغل کرده بود تنها تصویری بودکه توی ذهنش مونده بود.تنش دیگه داغ نبود!
-آبان ۸۸ حرم مطهر امام رضا(ع)-صحن آزادی
_”رامین جان!مادر! این بنده خدا غریبه! ببین کجارو می خواد!”
مرد دشداشه ی سفید تنش بود.سیبیلای پرپشت و صورت آفتاب سوخته ای داشت وفارسی رو با لهجه ی عربی حرف می زد.از رامین که لب حوض وضو می گرفت پرسید:”مهمانخانه ی ستاره.خیابان شیرازی !ازکجا باید بریم؟”

۷۲۵ نظر براي “می تونه واقعی باشه!”

  1. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    بدون شک این قبیل اتفاقات در عالم واقع فراوون افتاده و ما ازش بی خبریم. کوتاه و گویا نوشتی بهروان و کل مطلب یادآور این واقعیته که دنیا خیلی کوچیکه؛ کوچیک تر از اون که بشه تصورش رو کرد.
    مطلب درست جایی تموم شده که باید میشد. در پایان برای ذهن خواننده سوالهای بی جوابی پیش میاد از جمله اینکه مرد عرب اصولا در مشهد چه میکرد؟ آیا افراد قصه بالاخره از هویت هم خبردار میشن؟ برخورد رامین با مرد چه خواهد بود و از این قبیل پرسشها که فکر میکنم حسنش هم به بی جواب موندنشونه. چنانچه نویسنده در پی جواب برمیومد پیام اصلی مخدوش میشد.
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    پاسخ:
    راستش استارتش از دیدن یه آقای عرب توی حرم توی ذهنم زده شد که هیبت و ظاهرش به نظامیا می خوردکه به نظرم رسید می تونسته یه افسر یا سرباز عراقی بوده باشه!
    شمالطف دارین! چه خوب !

  2. صادق گفته:

    طبق معمول ، و بدون اغراق ، عالی بود
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    پاسخ:
    طبق معمول شما لطف دارین صادق خان!

  3. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام .
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!

  4. میرباقری گفته:

    جعفر آقا ! ایده ی خیلی خوبی داره این داستانک شما . :)

    اما ایرادات اساسی توش می بینم :

    ۱٫ داغی گلوله تنشو داغ کرد … !
    توی این چمله تکرار ” داغ ” را داریم . به نظر می رسه اولین چیزی که به ذهن نویسنده رسیده همین جمله بوده و هیچ تلاشی برای کامل تر کردنش و خوشایندترش نکرده . تکرار ” داغ ” جالب نشده . میشد طور دیگه ای هم گفت .

    ۲٫ لحن جمله ی اول ، یه کد میده در مورد آدمی که تیر خورده . خبر از یکی که تیر خورده .
    بعد می رسیم به :
    ” مردباسیبیلای پر پشت و صورت آفتاب سوخته اسلحه به دست بالای سرش وایستاده بودوستاره های روی شونه هاش زیر نور آفتاب برق می زد. ”
    در مورد این توصیف از مرد سیبیلو یه نکته هست . به نظرم تعبیری که از ستاره های روی شونه هاش داشتید زیاد مناسب و خوشایند نیست . می شد گفت ستاره های سردوشی … یا یه چیز دیگه . نمی دونم .
    ۳٫ لحن جمله اول داستانکت خبر از آدمی میده که افتاده روی زمین .
    در ادامه اونی را می بینیم که ایستاده بالای سر این آدم به خاک افتاده . بعد تو خبر از شلیک دوباره ی آدم سیبیلو میدهی.
    مشکل بعدیت اینه :
    ” دوباره شلیک کرد…چشماش دیگه چیزی ندید ”
    من نفهمیدم این دو تا چه طوری کنار هم اومدن . ترکیب مناسبی نیست . آیا ” چشاش دیگه چیزی ندید ” هم به مرد سیبیلو بر می گرده ؟ یعنی چشمهای مرد سیبیلو دیگه … ؟! من که این طور برداشت کردم با توجه به جایی که از این جمله ” چشاش … ” استفاده کردی .

    ۴٫ به نظرم توی معرفی مرضیه و رامین هم موفق نبودی .
    من نفهمیدم مرضیه و رامین چه نسبتی دارند با هم و چه نسبتی با آدمی که افتاده و تیر خورده . البته شاید می خواستی ادامه داستانو بخونیم ببینیم می فهمیم این نسبتو یا نه . اما در همان توصیف اولیه از این عکس میشد تعبیرهای قشنگ تر و سرراست تری هم داشت .
    ۵ . توی بند یک داستانکت می بینم کلمات و جمله ها خیلی شتابزده استفاده شده اند و روی ارتباطشون با هم و این که چطور می تونند بهتر به خواننده کمک کنند کشف کنه ، زیاد فکر نشده . راستی ، تعریفی که از موقعیت زمانی ( مرداد ۶۲ داشتی خوبه ( گرما ) ) اما چرا مثل شروع بند دوم ، کدهای بیشتری ندادی که محل وقوع اتفاق نیمه ی اول داستانکت کجاست ؟ خوب بود اول هم ذکر می شد . همون طور که در نیمه ی دوم می دونیم کجاست محل وقوع اتفاقات .
    ۶٫ توی گفتن موقعیت مکانی و زمانی نیمه ی دوم داستانک دیگه نیازی به ” صحن آزادی ” نبود . خود این عبارت ، کافیست که بیننده فضا و تصویر ایران امروزو فشای مشهدالرضا را تجسم کنه : ” آبان ۸۸ حرم مطهر امام رضا(ع) … ” همین کافی نیست به نظرت ؟
    ۷٫ بند دوم خوب شروع نمیشه .
    خوب بود مثل نیمه اول شروع بشه . با تعریفی از مرد سیبیلو ( درست مثل نیمه اول ) بعد در ادامه ، کدهایی بدهی از اون چه در این تاریخ در این مکان ( ۸۸ – مشهد ) برای همین مرد سیبیلو اتفاق می افته .
    ۸٫ به نظرم نه مرد سیبیلو رامین و مرضیه را می شناسه ( چون توی ذهن اونی که کشته نبوده !! ) و نه رامین و مرضیه توی صحنه ی کشته شدن مردشون نبوده اند .
    ۹٫ پس اتفاق خاصی در این زمان و مکان برای هیچ کدوم نمی افته . شاید فقط بیننده کشف کنه اینو اون هم با اطلاعات مستقیم و معمولی که خودت دادی . پس این کشف کشف زیاد مهمی نیست و هیجان خاصی نداره .
    ۱۰ . توصیفت از ” فارسی با لهجه ی عربی ” بهتر بود نیمه اول داستان بیآد . بعد اگه خواستی نیمه دوم هم بیاریش که نشون بدهی این آدم سیبیلوی نیمه دوم همون آدم سیبیلوی نیمه اوله ، می تونستی قبل از جمله ی اخر بهش اشاره کنی . یعنی مثلا بگی : مرد با فارسی نزدیک به لهجه ی عربی پرسید : …
    ۱۱ . این اتفاق را چه طور توجیه می کنی : آدمی که توی حرم ، از یه زائر آدرس یه مسافرخونه را می پرسه . این اتفاق منطقی نیست . چون این آدم ، برای پرسیدن و پیدا کردن ، حتما ازراننده های تاکسی و آدمهای بیرون حرم و توی خیابون می پرسه . نه از آدمهای توی حرم !

    در هر صورت باز هم میگم ایده ی خوبی داشت . دستت درد نکنه فضای داستانو دوست داشتم . ولی یه کم عجله کردی توی کنار هم چیدن کلمات و ربط دادن اتفاق های مختلف به هم .
    موفق که هستی . انشاالله موفق تر باشی .

  5. جعفر بهروان راد گفته:

    پاسخ به سید میرباقری:
    اولآ دست مریزادبابت همتت! به خودم هم می گفتن عمرآ حاضر نبودم بابت این دو خط اینهمه شرح و بسط بنویسم!
    ایرادات محترمه ولی با اجازه ت سر بعضیاش حرف دارم که در ادامه می نویسم!
    ۱٫ شاید زیبا به نظر نرسه ولی تعمد داشتم تو استفاده ی پشت سرهم از کلمه ی “داغ” و این قضیه کاملآ آگاهانه انجام شده!
    ۲٫ به نظرت ستاره های روی شونه هاش یه مقدار بهتر از ستاره های سردوشی نیست؟! یه مقدار منحرف شدن ذهن به کلمات به نظرت بهتر از رک نویسی نیست؟!(هرچند بعید می دونم ذهن خواننده منحرف بشه!)
    ۳٫ شاید من اشتباه می کنم ولی به نظرم “سه نقطه” می تونه کارکرد گسست زمانی و موضوعی داشته باشه! هرچند معمولش اینه که تو داستانای بلند از سه ستاره و مربع و اینا استفاده می کنن !
    ۴٫ خیلی جاها خوندم و شنیدم که سرراست نویسی کار هنرمندانه ای نیست! و به نظرم ممکنه اولین بار متن یه مقدار گیج کننده باشه ولی با خووندن مجدد فکر میکنم مشکل حل بشه!
    ۵٫ مورد ۵ رو قبول دارم می شد مثلآ نوشت “جزیره مجنون” . ولی کم ندیدم داستانایی که از اول خیلی چیزاشون گنگه و به مرور گره ها باز می شن!
    ۶٫ “صحن آزادی” . به نظرت اینجا با کلمه ی “آزادی” بازی نکردم؟! اینجا دوست و دشمن کنار هم قرار می گیرن!
    ۷٫ معتقدم اینطوری گره نوشته کمتر می شد!
    ۸٫ قرار نیست اینا همو بشناسن!همه ی حرفم اینه که اینا از کنار هم می گذرن ، حتی رامین به مرد کمک می کنه بدون اینکه همو بشناسن!
    ۹٫ اسمشو کشف نمی ذارم! اصلآ بحث من این آدمای خاص نیستن ، من یه موقعیت که “می تونه واقعی باشه ” رو تشریح کردم!
    ۱۰٫به نظرت برای شناسوندن مرد عرب تکرار کلمات”سیبیلای پرپشت و صورت آفتاب سوخته” کافی نیست؟!!
    ۱۱٫ خیلی زیاد برام پیش اومده که کسی توی صحنها میاد می پرسه می خوام برم فلان خیابون، اونوقت راهنماییش کردم که باید از اینجا بری که از فلان در بری بیرون که برسی به فلان خیابون!
    مرد عرب اومده توی حرم، یه کم چرخیده ،حالا نمی دونه از کدوم در باید بره بیرون ، به نطرت این منطقی نمیاد؟! بابت اسم مسافرخونه شاید منطقی به نظر نیاد ولی باز هم زیادن کسایی که آدرسی می پرسن و اطلاعات اضافه هم می دن!
    در خاتمه ازت بی نهایت تشکر می کنم که وقت گذاشتی ، چه قبل( و دوران چراگاه) چه الان، همیشه دنبال در گرفتن بحثای اینچنینی بودم که البته کمتر اتفاق افتاده! بازم از این کارا بکن!
    دستت درست!

  6. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    کامنت زیر رو اشتباهی در صفحه نظرات پست قبل نوشتم؛ با پوزش، دوباره اینجا می نویسم:

    shamim جان
    افتتاح «حوض فیروزه» رو صمیمانه تبریک میگم و امیدوارم به هدفی که از راه اندازیش داری برسی خانم هنرمند.
    اسم آموزشگاه منو برد به دوران کودکی و حوض فیروزه ای رنگ خونه مادر بزرگ…

    دستت درد نکنه بهروان برای خبر افتتاح آموزشگاه. بابا ما با یه عده افراد هنرمند دمخوریم که هم باعث میشه به خودمون ببالیم و هم احساس بی هنری کنیم!(فروتنی بودها؛ جدی نگیر!)
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    پاسخ:
    صفحه ی خودتونه !
    فقط حیف که دست ما کوتاه و خرمای آموزشگاه تو پایتخته! جدی نگرفتم!!!

  7. سید محمد باقر موسوی گفته:

    سلام جناب بهران
    لذت می برم از نوشته های شما .
    —-
    من سالهاست منتظر یک ضمانتم
    آخر چرا امام رضایی نمی رسد ؟
    ——–
    یا علی
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    لطف دارین!
    به قول شیخنا محمدعلی بهمنی:
    شرمنده ام که همت آهو نداشتم
    شصت وسه سال راه به این سو نداشتم!

    آقا! شما که از همه کس با خبرترید
    من جز سری نهاده به زانو نداشتم!
    دست علی(ع) به همراتون!

  8. shamim گفته:

    واااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااای!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت][خجالت] شرمنده کردیییید باور نمیکنید صفحه که باز شد جیغ زدم خیلی غافلگیر شدم .باور کنید واقعــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــاً ممنونم ۱۰۰۰۰۰۰۰۰ بار ممنون.@};-@};-@};- اتفاقاً الان توی میلهام بودم و به آقای میر باقری میل زدم که اگر میخوان توی کلاسهای تئوریه زیباشناسی هنر و ….. شرکت کنند نمیدونستم اینجا زودتر خبررسانی شده.بازم ممنون^:)^[خجالت]
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    دشمنتون شرمنده! قابل نداشت! مبارک باشه ایشالا چرخش واسه تون روون بچرخه! :)

  9. shamim گفته:

    شبـــــــــــــــــــــــلیه عزیزم لطف کردید ممنونم:xامیدوارم با انرژیهای + شما این حوض پراز ماهی باشه:)
    در مورده اسمش هم بله دقیقاً خودم حس شما رو دارم و اصرار داشتم یه اسم فرهنگیه ایرانی باشه در ضمن یه رنگ هم توش باشه وچون آبی رو خیلی دوست دارم شد حوض فیروزه.:)آقای بهروان و t.jهم زحمت دادم و اسمهای خوبی پیشنهاد دادند. که بالاخره ارشاد اینو قبول کرد. بازم ممنون@};-
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    محل نصب پاسخ شبلی رضی ا… عنه!

  10. shamim گفته:

    بـــــــــــــــــــــــــــه آقای میر باقری :سلام.من متن خوب و طولانیه شما رو خوندم. اول فکر کردم با متنهای اقای بهروان آشنایی ندارید بعد متوجه شدم شما آشناییتون به خیلی قبلها بر میگرده. قبل از من .اما یه مخالفته کوچولو باهاتون دارم>:/>:):d که البته چون از نگارخونه باهاتون آشنا هستم و اونجا هم بعضی اوقات با هم روی کارها صحبت میکردیم اینو میگم و باهاتون راحت هستم.

    توی این متن خلاصه گویی کاملاًمشهوده . قسمت اول یا گذشته دیده مرد زخمی رو داریم و مــــــــــــــــــا بیننده این وقایع توی صحنه حضور داریم و با فاصله ۱ خط باز مــــــــــــــــــا ییم که حضور داریم و وقایع حال رو میبینیم .لازم نیست اصلاً سراغ آنچه رامین و مادرش فکر میکنندو……. بودند و هستند بریم یعنی قالبه کار به ما این اجازه رو نمیده درست مثل اینکه شما بادیدن یه کار مدرن یا سمبولیسم بری سراغ درست و غلطیه جهت نور یا آناتومیه فیگورها یا قرینه بودن طبیعت بی جانهای مثلاًپیکاسو. این شدنی نیست .میدونید که ما باید قانونها و مبانی رو خیــــــــــــــــــلی خوب بدونیم بعد اونها رو اجازه داریم که بشکنیم و این میشه نو آوری و خلاقییت. میتونه توی کارهای تجسمی باشه یا موسیقی، شعر، داستان و… متن شما کاملاً خوب و به جاست برای مبانیه کار وبرای متنی که توی اون مبانی قالب باشه اما اینجا باهاتون موافق نیستم. قشنگترین قسمتش همون عکس هست قسمت اول که با جان دار شدنش مارو ربط میده به قسمت ۲٫من با نقد کاملاً موافقم اما نباید یه ظرف از پیش تعیین شده داشته باشید و کار رو بیاندازید توش اگر با فاکتورها خوند یا نخوند نسبت به اون کار رو بسنجیم . اما این کارتون رو که بحث رو پیش کشیدید خیلی پسندیدم. باز هم ببخشید بابته مخالفت .
    :)باید با تغییرات خوب کنار بیاییم ومن مطمئنم که متن رو که خوندید دقیقاً متوجه شدید و حسه کار رو گرفتید پس چرا وارده ریزه کارییها شدید، این کار شما درست بود البته اما بازم میگم نه توی این کار. امیدوارم منظورم رو رسونده باشم بازم میبخشید.:-b:|
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    پاسخ:
    محل نصب پاسخ سید میرباقری

  11. رضا قلی پور گفته:

    جعفر بهروان عزیز
    بله ….می تونه واقعی باشه….:)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    بله آقا رضا!…:)

  12. رویا گفته:

    سلام استاد.خیلی دلنشین بود و کاملا قواعد ساده وسالم نویسی توی متنتون مشهود و پایان خیلی خیلی خوب.
    راستی خیلی هوس حرم امام رضا کردم.خیلی زیاد!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    لطف دارین!
    ان شالله قسمتتون بشه!

  13. مسعود گفته:

    سلام ،
    «…اولین چیزی که به ذهن نویسنده رسیده همین جمله بوده و هیچ تلاشی برای کامل تر کردنش و خوشایندترش نکرده …»
    به نظرم همین یه جمله مهم ترین نقدیست که به نوشته وارده ! دیدی فقط من نیستم ؟! هرچند در برخی موارد به نظرم نقد از نقد بودنش فاصله گرفته و به سمت دیگه ای کشیده شده ! از طرف دیگه تو هم با زیرکی برخی از نقدها رو که جوابی براش نداشتی یا نمی خواستی جواب بدی رو از زیر سیبیلای پرپشتت رد کردی و دایورت کردی به ناکجا !;)
    اما بعد ؛ به نظرم در طی همه سالهایی که همین طور آماتوری درگیر نقد خوندن و شنیدن هستم یه ایراد مهم به اکثر منتقدان وارده ، اونم اینه که به نظر من اگر کسی توی یک «غزل» وزن از دستش در رفت و قافیه ش ناجور شد و انسجام معنایی شعرش هم به هم ریخت… ، همین ایرادات براش بسه که بره و اگه می خواد خودشو رو تقویت کنه ! و از دید من وقتی فوندانسیون خونه مورد اشکال باشه دقت کردن به کثیفی شیشه هاش کمی دور از منطقه !
    حوصله خودمم سر رفت ! چقدر … زدم ؟!
    والسلام[مسعود]
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    قبلآ هم که صحبت شده بود گفته بودم که درست یا غلط ترجیحم اینه که ببینم فرم اولیه ای که به ذهنم رسیده نمره ی قبولی می گیره یا نه! وشاید به این خاطر باشه که بیشتر پشت مفهوم مدنظرم وایمیستم تا فرم بیانش. اگه خاطرت باشه تو چراگاه همیشه نوشته هامو تو دسته بندی غیر از داستان می ذاشتم، فقط به این خاطر که محتا بیشتر از فرم مدنظرم بود!
    یه سری نقدا رو که رد نکردم دیگه ، چون وارده!
    چقدر دُر افشوندی!!!

  14. مسعود گفته:

    تکمله به خانم شمیم :
    ضمن عرض سلام و تبریکات فائقه !
    گفتید :«توی این متن خلاصه گویی کاملاًمشهوده… » و در ادامه به نقد ِانتقادات ِمنتقد پرداختید ! هر چند با بخش عمده ای از نوشته تون موافقم اما یه قاعده هست که همون ابتدای کار داستان کوتاه و به تبعش داستانک طرح می شه : «هرچیزی رو که می تونی حذف کنی و کلیت اثر لطمه نخوره حذفش کن !» این حدف ممکنه در حد یه حرف ربط یا اضافه باشه یا حتی فعل «گفت» یا تبدیل «من» به «م» (کار من »» کارم) پس نه می شه به خلاصه گویی که فرمودید چندان صحه گذاشت و نه می شه از رعایت قواعد چیز زیادی گفت !
    من امروز نطقم باز شده هاااا ! فکر کنم صب تخم کفتر خوردم :d
    [مسعود]
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    اگه بدونم تخم کفتر افاقه می کنه صب به صب دو تاشو نیمرو می کنم میارم واست!!!

  15. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام مجدد .
    خوبی جعفر آقا ؟
    جوابهاتو خوندم .
    ببین به نظرم مهمترین چیزی که توی نوشته ات می بینم شتابزدگی در کنار هم چیدن جزییات و اتفاقهاشه . اگه حرفی هم دارم در همین مورده . نوشته ت می تونست چفت و بست محکمتری داشته باشه ( البته الان هم این قدر کامل هست که بشه فهمید چی می خواستی بگی . )
    ۱٫ آره من هم موافقم که استفاده و تکرار” داغ ” می تونه تعمدی باشه و آگاهانه .
    اما شاید اگه به ترکیبش توی جمله و این که کجا و چه جوری بیاریش بیشتر فکر می کردی ، بهتر تر می شد . ( الان بهتره ! )
    ۲٫ تعبیر ستاره های روی شونه هاش ( ” ستاره ” به خودی خود حس و تصویر خوبی به آدم میده . ) از اون آدم بده ( اون نظامی عرب ) تصویر خوب و درخشانی در ذهنم ساخت . از این جهت گفتم که …
    ۳٫من هنوز هم در مورد این که پشت سر هم از جملاتی استفاده کردی که هر کدومشون به یکی از شخصیت ها بر می گردند نظرم همونه . حداقل اگه میخوای همین باشه می تونستی علایمی اضافه کنی به ابتدای جملات که نشون بده هر کدوم به یکی بر می گردند . یعنی روی چیدن این جملات و ردیف کردنشون دنبال هم کار کن . آره سه نقطه می تونه همون کارکردی را که گفتی داشت هباشه اما نه وقتی تو همه ی کلماتتو همین جوری گذاشتی پشت هم و جای نفس کشیدن به هیچکدوم نمی دهی .[خجالت]

    ۴٫ ” دوباره شلیک کرد…چشماش دیگه چیزی ندید ”
    من میگم اینجا مشکل داره . درسته سه نقطه اومده اما به هر حال من نیاز داشتم کلی فکر کنم تا بفهمم این جمله دومی ( چشماش ) بر می گرده به آدمی که تیر خورده . نه افسر عراقی ! آخه تو اومید این ها را پشت هم نوشتی آدم به اشتباه می افته .

    به هر حال میخوام بگم با کلیت داستان و ایده ی خوبش موافقم . دستت درست اگه ایرادی هست توی یک سری جزییاتشه نه ساختار کلیش . یا علی .
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!ممنون!
    موافقم ! چون اصلآ سعی در پرداخت و ویرایشش نکردم! دو سال پیش اینو نوشتم گذاشتم تو چراگاه دیروز هم بدون کم و کاست کپی کردم اینجا گذاشتم!
    ۱ . حتمآ بهترتر می شد!
    ۲٫ اینطوری به قضیه نگاه نکردم!
    ۳٫ آره می شه علامت گذاشت جای سه نقطه!
    ۴٫ قکر کنم علامت گذاشتن این مورد رو هم حل کنه!
    شما لطف داری سیدجان! علی (ع) یارت!

  16. میرباقری گفته:

    به خانم شمیم :
    فکر می کنم شما هم جواب بنده به جواب جعفر آقا را بخونید ببینید نظرتون چیه .

    یا حق .:)

  17. نگارش گفته:

    سلام!
    من کاملا از دید خودم می گم. خودی که نه داستان نویسه و نه منتقد داستان!
    زیبا بود. گویا و یک اتفاق واقعی. ممکنه برای همه رخ داده باشه.

    به شمیم عزیز:
    خبر بسیار مسرت بخشی بود. امیدوارم به سلامتی و دل شادی این راه رو ادامه بدین. موفق باشین.@};-
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    لطف دارین!

  18. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام . میگما جعفر آقا ! میخوای توی خبرنامه وبلاگم عضو شو که وقتی به روز شد خبر بدهم تشریف بیآری .
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    حتمآ!

  19. T.J گفته:

    سلاااام.
    خوندنش حس غریبی به آدم میده…
    :)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلاااااام!
    خدا کنه حس خوبی نباشه!
    :)

  20. T.J گفته:

    شمیم جونم تبریک!:) :*
    حوض فیروزه ات همیشه پر ماهی:)

  21. T.J گفته:

    باز یه سوال!!!
    ظاهرا بعضی از شکلکای اینجابه نام خورده! شرایط چه جوریاست؟!! اجاره میدین؟ سرقفلی داره؟ جایزه مسابقه ست؟!:d … اگه ثبت نام داشتین ما رو بی خبر نذارین!! این<:-p مثلا، بیانه هم میدم براش.:d
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    فکر خوبیه میتونه جایزه ی مسابقه باشه مثل همون ماجرای GLX!!! :D
    :)

  22. T.J گفته:

    برداشت من از داستانک مثل اینه که خواننده با یه پازل روبه رو میشه ! که با یه کم بالا پایین کردن داده های متنی، پازل چیده میشه! پس اگر در نظر اول نتونست همه اجزا رو بچینه کنار هم، موفق بودن نویسنده نمیره زیر سوال! این در شرایطی صدق میکنه که اکثر خواننده ها تو اون قسمت به مشکل بخورن!

    ثانیا کشف یه سری حقایق به دوش همون خواننده ست که پازلو چیده! چه بسا کاراکترا نیازی به کشفش نداشته باشن!
    و اما… دقت و گذاشتن وقت برای نوشتن نقد نشونه توجه ست که ستودنیه!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    حق با شماست!
    :)

  23. T.J گفته:

    چقدر کامنت گذاشتم من!!!!
    جبران از صبح صحبت نکردنمو کردم:))
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    خوب کردین!
    :)

  24. میرباقری گفته:

    به : T.J :

    سلام کاملا موافقم باهاتون . آقای بهروان راد را به عنوان یه آدم کار درست و موفق قبول دارم . :)
    اگه هم حرفی می زنم پای کارهاشون برای اینه که وظیفه ی خودمو در موفق تر بودنشون انجام بدهم !
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    شما لطف داری سید جان!
    ما مخلصیم!

  25. shamim گفته:

    ســـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــلام. به آقای مســـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــعود و آقای میرباقری،من متن شما رو خوندم:)و هنوز هم به حس کار بیشترتر اهمیت میدم البته دلیلش اینه که من نویسنده نیستم و این متن چه بلند .کوتاه یا…. باشه تصویر و دکوپاژه خوبی به من داد:)

    به نگارش عزیز:ممنون عزیزم به خاطر کامنتت .امیدوارم شما هم همیشه موفق باشید@};-

    بهt.j:مرســــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــی عزیزم :*@};-

    و به آقای رادا:نمیدونم چرا متنهای شما چه تو دنیای مردگان و زندگان و گاهی اونایی که اون وسطا گیر کردن:dهمیشه منو راغبم میکنه دوباره برم سراغ فیلم کوتاه ساختن. اگه شما گذاشتید ما زندگیه خودمونو بکنیم:))بچسبیم به نقاشی کشیدنمون نمیذارید دیگه؟؟؟؟؟؟:)):-s:-??

    راستی چقدر جالبه که ما چند نفر هر کدوم به اقتضای کارمون این چند خط شما رو متفاوت نقد کردیمااااا مثلاً آقای میر باقری زوم کرد رو ریزه کاری آقای مسعود و من و t.jهرکدوم یه زاویه رو دیدیم و این چقدر خوبه واسه شما و مایی که میخونیم .کاش این موضوع و روش توی سایتتون مداوم باشه به لطف آقای میرباقری و دوستان دیگه:d
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    منم پایه ام اگه خواستین فیلم بسازین!:) زودتر شروع کنیم به جشنواره ی سال بعد برسه!!!
    دستتون درد نکنه قطعآ این حرف زدنا سر یه موضوع باعث می شه همه چار کلوم چیز بیشتر یاد بگیرن و واسه منم خوبه که بازخورد نوشته هامو ببینم و سعی در رفع اشکالاش بکنم!

  26. shamim گفته:

    راستــــــــــــــــــــــــــــی آقای مسعود !ممنون از تبریکتون.ما که مزاحم شما بودیم و خواهیم بود%%-
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    محل نصب پاسخ آقای مسعود!

  27. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام .
    سیستم خبرنامه سیستم مزخرفی بود . حذفش کردم . لینک دوستان را در قسمتی از بلاگ درج کردم که به طور خودکار خبر به روز شدن وبلاگهای دیگرانو میده . که تا دیدم به روز شدند بشتابم برای دیدنشون !
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    خوب کردی سید!

  28. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    حاجی بهروان کجا میری؟
    میگن به آمریکا میری
    آسّه میای، آسّه میری
    تنها میای، تنها میری
    هفته پیش کوبا بودی
    بعدش ونزوئلا بودی
    همش به سیر و سفری
    دور از جونت، دربدری!
    جواب کامنت نمیدی
    به حرف ما دل نمیدی
    حال همه خراب شد
    دل رفقات کباب شد!

    کجا مجاها هستی بهروان؟! به قول اون جمله کلیشه ای معروف: حضورت در عالم مزاجی کمرنگ شده!

    آقا ما هم برای فیلم پایه ایم؛ پایه هم نبودیم اقلآ باسه دوربین سه پایه ایم!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    دارم می رم بار بیارم !!!
    چاوزو خیلی دوست دارم!
    فیدل که خیلی خشنه
    ریشاش تریپه فشنه!
    همه اش به سیر و سفرم؟!!
    خیر سرم دربه درم!!!
    اینور و اونور می پرم
    تا کی بشه ور بپرم!!!
    کامنتا رو جواب دادم
    دسته گلا رو آب دادم!
    همه چی روی حساب شد!
    دل خودمم کباب شد!!!

    من که هستم که ، منتها کمرنگ!!!مثل چای!
    همونطور که خانم شمیم هم نوشتن شما رژیسورین،صدا و دوربین رفت ، اکشنو بگین که ما بازی کنیم!

  29. رویا گفته:

    سلام آقای بهروان. چی شده که طبع وزین شبلی صداش دراومده؟;)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    ظاهرآ حضور کمرنگ من بی تاثیر نبوده!

  30. x گفته:

    سلام!
    دمت گرم
    با این همه کامنت دیگه بنده اجازه اظهار نظر به خودم نمیدم …
    ای مگس عرصه سیمرغ نه جولنگه توست …
    ببخشید مصدع اوقات شریف شدیم
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    لطف دارین آقا!
    نفرمایین!
    خوش اومدین!

  31. سدچمن گفته:

    سامنلیکم داش جعفر
    حیقت وختی که این بی مرام رفته بود پابوس آقا ما ترون حبس بودیم ای نه به جون هرچی مرده خونشو میریختیم. اون خدابیامرز خیلی به گردنمون حق داش. تو جبهه با حاجیت تو یه سنگر میخابید. هرچی خاک اون خدابیامرزه عمر شوما باشه. شنفتیم رفته بود خانوم بچه هاشو پیدا مونه باسه حلالیت تلبیدن.
    شامسّودو دیدی سلام دوقبضه مارو برسون. تیمور و بقیه سراغتونو میگیرن. وخ کردین یه سر تشّیف بیارین دوکون ممّد جیم.

    اجالتن زت زیاد
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    بَ بَ! بیبین کی اومده !… پسر یه چایی وردار بیار!… کم پیدایی بی مرام! … دِکی ! سید؟! شومام از رزمندگون بودیو لاپیشونی می کردی؟! … ایول به مرامت ما که لنگ انداختیم! پَ شومام با اون خدابیامرز همسنگر بودی! … بابا! مردی به مولا! ما رو باش فک می کردیم شومام از ما بدتر فقط دور و ور قصر و اوین می پری!… ایول به مرامت!…
    مسّود یه چن وختی هَ همچینا نامیزونه! باس پی جور شم بیبینم چشه! ولی چشم! بزرگیتو می رسونیم بهش! شومام تیمور و بچه ها رو دیدی سلام برسون! به ممد بوگو ریدیف کنه یه عرق خوری را بندازیم ! پا داد یه قاپیم بیریزیم!
    برو به سلامت!

  32. shamim گفته:

    ســــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــلام! ممنون آقای رادا شرمنده کردید[خجالت].

    شبلیه عزیز اگه بیان تو گروه فیلمبرداری که جاشون اون بالا بالاهـــــــــــــــــــــــــاست .یه کلاه و عینک آفتابی و یه بلند گو:) مــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــا هم میگیــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــم بروی چشـــــــــــــــــــــــم !!!! وقتی بشنویم که بگن ســـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــه .دو . اکشـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــن!!!!!!!:)@};-@};-
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    ســــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــلام! خواهش می کنم قابلی نداشت!
    من نقش “آمیتابچن” شو بازی می کنم! :D

  33. راحیل گفته:

    سلام
    من هم یه پستی در همین موضوع دارم البته مال من خیلی پیچ داره جوری که خواننده زیاد متوجه نمیشه مگر اینکه همونی باشه که در موردش نوشته شده.سخن شبلی رو تائید میکنم دنیا خیلی کوچیکه…
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    منم تایید می کنم سخن شبلی (رضی ا… عنه!) رو!

  34. T.J گفته:

    سلاااام.
    اگه تو فیلمتون از این نقشای اینجوری [-( یا اینجوری :-w من هستم !!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلاااااام!
    نقش باید با بازیگر هماهنگ باشه یه نقش اینجوری::) واسه تون کنار گذاشتم!

  35. T.J گفته:

    “میخاستین” ،بعد از :-w جا افتاد!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    به این می گن کامنت نویسی متعهدانه!

  36. نگارش گفته:

    سلام!
    برای فیلم، مام هستیم!
    اگه ایرادی نداشته باشه، می تونیم چه چیزایی بخونیم که بذاریم توی متن فیلم! اگه دیدیم واسه صدای ماست که مجوز نمیدن، یا می ریم زیر یک صدایی که بهش مجوز بدن چندتا” آ” و” او” می خونیم و می شیم هم آواز و کلی هم افتخار می کنیم که به به آواز خوندیم، یا اینکه اساسا حذفش می کنیم! چطوره؟! [مسعود]<):)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    فکر خوبیه! البته الان که به صدای خانما که زیرش یه آقایی ” آ” و” او” کنه هم مجوز می دن!!!

  37. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    ممنون از shamim عزیز که هم خجالتم داده و هم تلویحآ توی گروه قبولم کرده.

    چقدر استعداد و علاقه توی این صفحه ات پنهان بود و ما خبر نداشتیم بهروان! با این خیل عظیم داوطلبها به نظرم بد نیست هرچه زودتر دست به کار ساخت ورژن دیگه «سلام سینما» بشی. چونکه میدونم با کارگردان اوریجینالش هم صنمی نداری میشه یه اسم هنری دیگه باسش انتخاب کرد. خلاصه «آغاز برنامه های ما هم اکنون شروع شد… امشب و هرشب بشتابید»!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    صفحه نگین ، بگین فرهنگسرا!!!
    الان وقتشه که آژانسو بازسازی کنیم فکر کنم به اندازه ی کافی بازیگر داریم!
    لیموناد و تخمه هم می فروشیم!

  38. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام جعفر آقا . خوبی ؟

    آقا به روزم . 8-|
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام سید!ممنون!
    می رسیم خدمتتون!

  39. neda گفته:

    کاش رامین یه مردی و با لهجه ی عربی و سبیلای پر پشت و صورت آفتاب سوخته زیر می کرد و همی جوری که داش می رفت سرشو می آورد و می گفت از عمد نبود
    همیجوری که یه پک محکم از سیگارش میزد پدال گاز و تا ته فشار میداد
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    با این اوصاف جای رامین باید “کلینت ایستوود” بازی کنه!!!

  40. نگارش گفته:

    سلام!
    مجوز نمی دن! می دن؟!
    اگه اینطور باشه من می رم سراغ خوانندگی! <:-p

    به خدا واسه روحیه آدم خوبه. چیه همش قاتل و خلافکار می بینیم! اَه!:-w
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    حالا شما بخونین فوقش مجوز ندادن زیر زمینی منتشرش کنین!!!

  41. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    بله بهروان؛ وقتش همین حالاس به شرطی که دوباره منو برای نقش «نادیا» در نظر نگیرین! (یادم نرفته!)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    هر چند به نظرم نقش بدی نیست! ولی هر کیو که دوست دارین بازی کنین! فقط حباستون باشه “سلحشور” مال خودمه!!!

  42. سارا گفته:

    تعلیق و گسستگی اولیه داستان رو جذاب می کنه و ذهن رو برای چیدن پازل درگیر
    دوستش داشتم
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    لطف دارین!

  43. رویا گفته:

    سلام .احوال شما؟
    خوشبختانه دوستای من شامل آخرین پستم نمی شدن. :d
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام! خوبم!
    چه خوب!!!

  44. x گفته:

    این پست که عنوانش دقیقاً الان ملموسه با حضور القاعده و طالبان و قطعاً بعثی ها در ایران …!!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    از “ببرای تامیل” چه خبر؟ نکنه اونام اومدن !؟!!!

  45. سبحان گفته:

    آقا کارتون درسته
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    لطف شماست آقا!

  46. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    آقای بهروان سلام!

    مثل اینکه کم کاری بطور ادواری میره و میاد!
    من رو باش که در صحنه ی وبلاگ شبلی عزیز، چون صحن دادگاه از شما دفاع کردم!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    من که کم کار نیستم فقط به قول شبلی رضی ا… عنه ، کمرنگ شدم!!!
    لطف کردین فقط باید بگم من حق الوکاله ندارم بدم!!!

  47. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    زیرزمینی باشه که به فیلمتون مجوز نمیدن!

    ما برای دوستان، تبرعا کار می کنیم!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    عوضش مشهور می شم ! می تونم بشینم اینور و انور از سانسور شدنم حرف بزنم! ! !
    شا لطف دارین!

  48. shamim گفته:

    بــــــــــــــــــــــــــابـــــــــــــــــــا!! چقدر متقاضی؟؟؟؟ :-?خب پس فیلمو شروع کنیم رژیسورو فیلمنامه واین همه بازیگر=d>:-:-:-:-:-:-به جشنواره امسال که میرســـــــــــــــــــــــــیم نـــــــه؟؟؟؟؟؟ آره بابا فیلم ساختن که کاری نداره فقط مجوز ساختش یه ذره کار میبره که اونم باشه واسه بعد!!!!

    خـــــــــــــــــــــــــب بازیگرای نقش ۱ نقش روبروش ؟؟؟؟؟ شما و شما>:/بیاید شبلی جون خوب نیگاتون کنه ببینیم واسه پوستر و عکس سر در سینما چقدر فتوژنیک کــــــــــــــــــــــه نه؟؟ چقدر تو چشمِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِِـــــــــــــــــــد؟؟؟ تازه چقدر میدید که بازی کنیـــــــــــــــــــــــــد هااااااااا!!!!! :)]:)]شبلی جون؟ آقای رادا؟موافقیـــــــــــــــد؟؟؟؟;));));)) اینطوری منم به دکوراسیون حوضم میرسم البته اگه بهرام بیضایی اینجا بود میگفت حضور شبلی و آقای رادا و من زیادم مهم نیست:((یکیای دیگـــــــــــــــــــه!!!:-cمهمند!!!![-x[-x[-x[-x

    وااااااااااااااااااااااای!!!!%-(%-(شمیم اینا چیه میگی:)):)):))بیدار شـــــــــــــــــــــــو!!!!تلفنت زنگ میخوره.

    (((((( ایـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــن بود نسخه اصلیه فیلم۳۰مرغ گرفته جشنواره امســــــــــــــــــــــــــال))))))

    برداشت آزادی از بهرام بیضایی با حضور ۱ پلانیه خود ایشان و آقای رادا. با تشکر از شما به خاطر لوکیشن که ۴۰ مرغ گرفت:d:d:dو اسم فیلم به پیشنهاد شبلی ۳۰نما ۳۰نماست یا یه چیز دیگـــــــــه!!!!=d>=d>=d>وبازیــــــــــــــــــــــــه خوب t.j;));));));));));));))در نقش:-w:-wb-(و صدا و تصویــــــــــــــر

    :d
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    آره لابراتوار آشنا دارم گفته دو ساعته می رسونه!!! :D مجوزم ندادنندادن فوقش می شه مثل “پاداش” کمال تبریزی !!!
    تو فیلمنومه تون یه صحنه هم بذارین که من چاقو بخورم داد بزنم :” قیصر !کجایی که جعفرتو کشتن؟”!!! بعد شم همونطور چاقو خورده سوار موتور شم تو خیابونا ویراژ بدم و صدای مرحوم فرهاد:” با صدای بی صدا…!!!”
    طبق آخرین اخبار بازیگر نقش :-w برنده ی تندیس بهترین بازیگر نقش اول شدن!
    منم به خاطر یک عمر فعالیت چاقویِی(!) ازم تجلیل شد!!!

  49. shamim گفته:

    اینم پوستر: ————————————————————————————
    o-> :x:x:x >:d< b-( (%)

    >-) >:) =((=((=((=((=(( x(

    و در آخر
    [مسعود][مسعود][مسعود]@};-@};-@};-:x:xو=d>=d>=d>

    ————————————————————————————-:d

    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    اینم تیزرش با صدای “ابوالحسن تهامی نژاد”:
    این مرد به چه می اندیشد! … حکایت قلبهایی که می تپد…اما آن مردان خبیث بی کار ننشسته اند!… و وقتی قلبها می شکنند!… خشم و خون!!!… :D

  50. shamim گفته:

    ااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااا آقای مسعود هم تو پوستر بود خب یه ۳۰ مرغ هم مال شمــــــــــــــــــــــا!!!![مسعود]

  51. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    shamim جان
    با توجه به تجربه و سابقه بهروان در زمینه کارگردانی و به همون نسبت بی تجربگی اینجانب تقاضا میکنم منو از پذیرفتن مسئولیت کارگردانی معاف کنین. درمورد آقای بیضایی هم باید بگم انگار هرچی زمان پیش میره کارش پس میره! فیلم آخرش رو که اسمش هم یادم نیست دیدم و به نظرم هیچ نکته مثبت سینمایی نداشت.

    اسم فیلم بیضایی که با هم درباره اش حرف زده بودیم چی بود بهروان؟ همونی که درباره مافیای سینمای ایران ساخته.
    آقا قبول نیس! من قبل از اینکه پاسخ کامنتمو در اینجا بخونم توی صفحه خودم در ارتباط با «سلحشور» بهت پیشنهاد دادم که خود آقا رضا(روحی فداه!) رو بیاریم برای بازی و البته این یه پیشنهاد تکمیلی بود در رابطه با درخواست اضافه کردن یه نقش به فیلمنامه برای خودم! اما خب اگه مقدور نیست و نمیخوای از بازیگران اوریجینال دوباره استفاده کنی هرچی که بهم بخوره بازی میکنم؛ چونکه هدف تنها مشهور شدنه!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    کار آخریش : “وقتی همه خوابیم ” به نظرم بهترین فیلماش “سگ کشی” و “شاید وقتی دیگر”ن!
    البته از اونجا که قراره به فیلمنامه ی اصلی وفادار بمونیم نمی تونیم واسه سلحشور نقش مقابل بتراشیم ولی می شه از آقا رضا دعوت کنیم واسه بازسازی “باغ فردوس ، پنج بعد از ظهر” !

  52. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    تق تق تق!
    صابخونه؟!

    امروز تولد وبلاگ رویای عزیزه…
    از اونجایی که بلاگفا با هر گونه جشن و شادی مخالفت می کنه(!) اومدم <:-pرو عاریه بگیرم!!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    مبارکشون با شه!

  53. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    شمیم جان:
    پس من چی؟!!!!!! :(
    کلی ذوق کرده بودم که می تونم اواز بخونم!!!!! [سوت]

  54. رویا گفته:

    ای بابا !! چه استاد کمرنگی !!
    سلام.کجائین شما؟ خوبین؟
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    شرمنده ! رنگش چینی بوده ظاهرآ!!!
    سلام! هستیم! ممنون!

  55. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    باشه! پس من از همین امروز تمرین ها رو شروع می کنم :)

    (ممنونم که درستش کردید :d )
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    روزی ده صفحه رونویسی کنین!!!

  56. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    از کی تا حالا تمرین آواز با رونویسیه؟!!!
    نکنه باید نوشته ی روی کاغذ رو بذاریم پشت بازیگرها بعنوان موسیقی متن؟!!
    مثلا اینطوری:
    سرو چماااااان مممممن چراااااا مممیل چمن نمیییی کننند
    همدم گگگگل نمیییییشود یااااد سمن نمیییی کند!!!!!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    نمی دونم واللا!!!
    حالا که قراره زیر زمینی بخونین حداقل یه آهنگ خالتور شیش و هشت بخونین که بشه ازش پول درآورد، عجالتآ رپ خوونی هم چواب می ده!

  57. shamim گفته:

    شبـــــــــــــــــــــــلی جون حالا که از وقتی همه خوابیم خوشتون نیومده :((نمیشه ! کارگردانو عوض کرد تازه دیدید که! جایزه هم گرفتید :dجایزه داده شده پسگرفته نمیشــــــــــــــــــــــود:-b

    نگارش عزیز صدا و تصویر که ذکر شد شـــــــــــــــــــــما بودید دیــــــــــــــــــــــــگه سیمرغ رو گرفتید=d><:-p

    آقای رادا آخــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــه کجای فیلمنامه چاقو ماقو رو جابدم مـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــن~X(~X(از دست شما و ایــــــــــــــــــــن آقای؟؟؟؟؟؟؟x( چه میشه کرد این پلان که گفتید رو هم میذاریم اون وسطای فیــــــــــلم[-([-(چه میشه کرد دیگهههههههههه:d

    خدا بهخیر بگذرونه !!:-w+فعالیت/:)چاقویی حتماً=$-) :d
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    دستتون درد نکنه! بالاخره نمی شه به استاد ادای دین نکرد!!!
    حاصل همکاری :-wوفعالیت/:)چاقویی گیشه رو می ترکونه!!!

  58. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    به به!! شمیم عزیز، بالاخره فهمیدم سی مرغ گرفتن چه حس خوبی داره… o:-)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    من یکی دوبار تو بچگی دنبال یه مرغ کردم که بگیرمش کلی عذاب کشیدم، سی تا مرغ به مراتب باید سخت تر باشه!!!

  59. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    الحق که فیلم بیخودی بود این «وقتی همه خوابیم» shamim جان. به جاش «وقتی همه خواب بودند» رو خیلی دوست داشتم. خصوصآ اون صحنه عصبانیت و دیالوچهای پسر بچه رو جلوی امامزاده. به نظر موسیقی و شعر زیبایی هم داشت.

    رویا جان
    بهتر آنست که برخیزیم
    رنگ را برداریم
    روی کمرنگی او پخش کنیم!

    احسنت به این ذهن پویایی که داری بهروان! تازه به فرض اینکه میشد و براش همسر هم میتراشیدی لابد سالها با هم زندگی کرده بودن و شور و شری نداشت رابطه اشون! اما این فکر بکر یه وقت دیدی که از عالم هنر به عالم واقع هم بسط و گسترش پیدا کرد! پس من برم از حالا خودمو بزنم به دی یونگی!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    ظاهرآ کاناداییا لهجه آذری دارن ، شما هم گرفتین!!!
    ذهن پویای کمرنگ بهتر از ذهن ایستای پررنگه! مگه نه؟!! خداییش سلحشور با اون هیبت و اخلاقیاتش تو خونه هم چیز درست و درمونی ازش درنمیومد، ولی تو “باغ فردوس…” هم خوش تیپ تره ، هم حرفای خوب خوب بلته بزنه! هم کلی خواهون داره! و کلی مزایای دیگه!

  60. شــــــــبلی گفته:

    منظور از «دیالوچ» همون دیالوگه و «به نظر» هم یعنی به نظرم! خواننده باید عاقل باشه!
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    چه توقع زیادیه از خواننده!!!

  61. رویا گفته:

    سلام استاد.ممنون.
    شبلی نازنینم استاد راضی هستن رنگیشون کنیم؟آیا؟;)
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    بلدین بهروان رنگ کنین جای آل پاچینو بفروشین؟!!

  62. T.J گفته:

    آقا اجازه آقا! مامانمون کارتون دارن!…
    سلام ملکم. آقا این چه وضعیه!! حالا درسته این بچه ساده ست، ولی خدا رو خوش نمیاد که با احساساتش بازی شه!! همین چند روز پیش، این همکلاسیش ،….، اون مداد رنگیایی که سر صف جایزه داده بودین بهشو گرفته، گفته میخام با مداد آبیت یه حوض برات بکشم، بعدشم دیگه مداد رنگیا رو پس نداده!!! بعد چند روز T.J من دیده نقاشیه ….. زدین به دیوار کلاس، کلی هم تشویقش کردین!! فکر نکنین بچم حسوده ها! اصلا!…احساساتش رقیقه! حالا هم که چندروزه وسوسه ش کردن که بیا فیلم بازی کن، بهت جایزه میدیم! اصلا میدونین چیه! این داستانا و قصه هاو فیلما نون و آب نمیشه برا این بچه ها!!!! یه سری تو کلاستون زدم دیدم به به!! همه شاگردا دارن از فلان هنرپیشه و کارگردان حرف میزنن!! یکی میخاد خواننده شه، یکی دنبال نقش مقابلش میگرده !! به جا این کارا یه کلاس آشپزی، خیاطی چیزی یادشون بدین! حالا زبان خارجه هم بد نیس !
    [-x
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    معلم در حالیکه چایش را هورت می کشد از دفتر بیرون می آید:”سلام علیکم ! خوب هستین شما!؟ … بله بله!حق باشماست! اتفاقآ این دختر خانم شما از دانش آموزای نمونه ی کلاس ما هستن که همون اوایل سال من ایشونو به عنوان مبصر کلاس انتخاب کردم! بسیار مودب ! بسیار زرنگ!… بله من مورد مداد رنگیا رو پیگیری می کنم! البته شما هم مستحضر باشین که بالاخره بین دو تا همکلاسی از این موارد پیش میاد ولی چشم من پیگیری می کنم!… من ایشون رو هم به نحو مقتضی تشویق می کنم ! … راستش یه گروه فیلمسازی اومدن تو مدرسه دنبال یه بازیگر می گشتن بنده T.J شما رو پیشنهاد دادم چون به نظرم استعداد فوق العاده ای داره!… البته ما دیروز یه انشایی گفته بودیم به بچه ها که در آینده می خواهید چه کاره شوید، بچه ها شغل مورد علاقه شون رو گفته بودن! به هرحال من از این که پیگیر مسائل فرزندتون هستین تشکر می کنم! به آقای مدیر هم پیشنهاد می دهم کلاس کوبلن و گلدوزی و گل چینی و اینا بذارن و به اولیا اطلاع بدن! … زبان خارجه رو هم که نفرمایین!….بنده گهگاه سوالات فرنگیمو از T.J شما می پرسم تا رفع ابهام بشم!

  63. راحیل گفته:

    سلاملیکم.می بخشیدا میشه اگه فیلمی هست به من نقش یه مرد عمیق رو بدین که همش سیگار میکشه و روم به دیوار مشروب میخوره؟! [سرخوش] چیه چرا این جوری @-) نگاه می کنین؟! من خیلی مردم به خدا /:):>
    ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    البته فیلم ما که توقیف سرخوده!!!ولی در کل قبلآ به “زن پوشی” و “مردپوشی” مجوز نمی دادن! البته بعد آدم برفی و اکبر عبدی بعید نیست بی خیال شده باشن!

  64. راحیل گفته:

    فیلم زیر زمینی که دیگه نگرانی نداره.من که میگم برای موسیقی متن می تونیم از آهنگ های رپ و شیش و هشتی استفاده کرد.این بهمن آقای قبادیمون توی این فیلم گربه هاش از آهنگ هایی استفاده کرده که اصن دلت میخواد زار زار بشینی واسه ملت خودت و ایران گریه کنی.عجیب فیلمیه. من از سبک ایندی راک که توی فیلم اجرا کرده خیلی خوشم اومد.واسه وقتی که من میام توی کار موسیقی متن این مدلی بذارین بی زحمت.خیر ببینین آقای رادا منم در عوض به مامانم میگم نیاد شکایت مدرسه.قبول؟! بگو ^:)^
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    من تو فیلمی که اسم بیضایی و مخملباف و قبادی بیاد وسط پامو نمی ذارم!!!
    البته اینکه اولیا بیان مدرسه و از اوضاع درس و مقش(!) بچه شون با خبر بشن کار بسیار پسندیده ایه!

  65. راحیل گفته:

    اصن آقا این معضل داره همه گیر میشه بائاس یه فکری به حالش کرد.
    بی زحمت این جمله ما رو اصلاح کنید:
    من که میگم برای موسیقی متن میشه از ….
    البته خواننده باید عاقل باشه.توقع زیادی هم نیست.هست؟! :-??
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    خدا می دونه!

  66. راحیل گفته:

    اصن آقا این معظل داره همه گیر میشه بائاس یه فکری به حالش کرد.
    بی زحمت این جمله ما رو اصلاح کنید:
    من که میگم برای موسیقی متن میشه از ….
    البته خواننده باید عاقل باشه.توقع زیادی هم نیست.هست؟! :-??
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    خدا می دونه!

  67. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام .

    ما می تونیم یه جایی غیر از بلاگفا با هم حرف بزنیم ؟ [لبخند]
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!

    آره راحت باش سیدجان! اینجا بلاگفا نیست! :D

  68. میرباقری گفته:

    سلام مجدد .
    چون اکثرا دوستام توی بلاگفا بودند این بود که این متنو همه جا کپی کردم . شرمنده جعفر آقا !
    حالا بی شوخی نظرت چیه ؟ ( من ؟ من یه دختر که … ) :d
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    سلام!
    دشمنت شرمنده!
    آخه خارج از بلاگفا می تونه خیلی جاها باشه! مثلآ همینجا یا پرشین بلاگ یا …:d

  69. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    حالا دیگه ما باید آهنگ خالتور شیش و هشت بخونیم؟! [-(
    دست شما درد نکنه!

    آره کلی خسته شدم بس که دویدم دنبال سی مرغ!
    ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ
    پاسخ:
    مهم درامده ، پول که باشه همه چی حله!

  70. shamim گفته:

    آقای راداااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااا ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟ لطفاً اون نقاشیه منو از دیوار پذیراییتون بردارید میخوام هدیه بدم به مـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــامـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــانم اینـــــــــــــــــــــا(قابل توجه بچه لوســـــــــــــــــــا):p
    بیا اینم مداد رنگیت ببین چقدر نوکش تیزه اصلاً نتراشیدمش:^o:^o
    نگارش عزیز سپردم ۳۰ مرغو بیارن دم خونه تحویلت بدن خب!:d
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    پاسخ:
    :D البته دانش آموزای خوب باید چاشتشونو با هم بخورن ! مدادرنگیاشونو با هم استفاه کنن!!! ما که اینجا بچه لوس نداریم!:D :)

  71. محمد حسین او گفته:

    خیلی خب حالا بیا ببین دوستان دیگه چه گفته اند در مورد این پست . خودت هم بگو نظرت چیه .
    منتظرم .
    یا حق . :)

  72. ن گ ا ر ش گفته:

    اگه ما قرار بود به فکر پول درآوردن باشیم که الان کلی پرونده گرفته بودیم! از شیش و هشت خوندن به مراتب درآمد بیشتره!!!

    شمیم عزیز!!! ممنونم :x همشون توی قفسن دیگه؟!! :d

  73. شیخ گفته:

    آقا دستت درست. نمی دانی چقدر این داستان تو و آن ماجرای خودم درگیرم کرد.
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